Enjoy our hand-crafted, 2 sipped, 203.5 degree wallpaper from yours truly. All photos, design work, and espresso drinking was done by the cleanhotdry team.

• New School
• 1920×1200
• 1680×1050
• 1440×900
• 1280×800

• Old School
• 1600×1200
• 1400×1051
• 1280×960
• 1024×768

• Too cool for school
• iPhone

Note: No espresso’s sat longer than 20 seconds in the making of this wallpaper, and we assure you, they were enjoyed to full satisfaction, even if people we’re staring at us like we were crazy.

Last week I had the chance to go to the ethical bean roastery and cafe with my dad and a friend and, lucky for us, the first person we saw when we walked in was Jeff Linton, the Foodservice Manager for ethical and our coffee rep at crema while he was still with JJ not too long ago. Needless to say, we were greeted with open arms and the “25 cent tour”, as Jeff called it, began.

The first thing you notice about ethical bean is the less-is-more design and bright colours. Neon greens and pinks are sprayed throughout the cafe and roastery, usually contrasted nicely with silvers a la stainless steel and metallic espresso bags.

In case you can’t tell by the name, ethical bean is a certified fair trade organic coffee roaster that is highly involved in the green movement and a number of charities and overseas donations, which you can find more about on their website (as always, link will open in a new window).

When we walked into the roastery (which, ps - wordpress seems to think is a typo. is roastery not a word?) we were shown the actual roaster, which I believe Jeff said roasted 100 lbs. of goodness at a time. The mouth watering title picture captures it in action.

After that, we walked a few steps over and saw some of the staff packaging what must have been a few hundred pounds worth, all getting ready to be shipped over to Costco. Sweet.

Next we saw the testing room, where beans from all around the world and competing companies are tried and tested, and were shown the reception area and meeting rooms. Pictures of kids they have helped or are otherwise connected to adorn the walls.

We finally went back out to the bar where the journey began and had some espresso and macchiatos, courtesy of Jeff, and on top of all that we were given 2 lbs. of coffee to play around with back at the shop.

I love coffee. culture.

So long JJ Bean pen that I use to take down notes with and tall terra del sol/dark guatemala/espresso blend/eastside to go, you made the term much more bearable.

School’s out, coffee’s in.

It was one of my best friend’s birthday this week and my cousin came up with a great gift for him - gift cards from a few of the city’s finest. Talk about a perfect gift for all coffee junkies alike. From back to front, we have 49th Parallel, Crema, Minks, and JJ Bean.

The “soil” in the pot is actually espresso beans - a nice finishing touch on presentation. Needless to say, it was a hit.

If you see a guy come into your cafe with this plant, wish him a happy birthday.

We’re taking Starbucks beans back to their roots. No fully automatic machines, it’s time to get down and dirty.We’re going to load up the Mazzer. Grind and dose into a portafilter. Tamp it, and run it through a Synesso.

The Long Forgotten Tamp.

To give you a bit of a prelude - one of my best friends works at Starbucks as of a few months ago and gets a pound of espresso free every week. I’ve been dropping by a few times a week since he started and learning lots about the Starbucks philosophy and how all the drinks are prepared, so that’s how this whole idea came about. I’ve long been wondering what the beans would taste like if handled properly. After all, it’s not fair to judge them when they are ground, tamped, and pulled all from the same machine with the touch of a button. Why not pull some shots the right way, and then see what happens?

3 free pounds of espresso and a free Thursday night later…

The first thing I noticed was that the beans didn’t have a roast date on them, only a “best before September 27th, 2008″ stamp. I’ll let you guys decide what exactly that means, I’m still not really sure. I was assured by my friend that these beans were indeed the very ones they used in store, so it was fair game.

The actual beans were much darker and oily than any of the beans I was used to handling. We use JJ Bean at Crema so that is all I had on hand to compare it with. On the far left is Espresso JJ, which is more of a light/medium espresso, followed by Nero Profundo, a much darker espresso, and capped off with the Starbucks. You can see even next to the dark Nero in the middle just how dark the Starbucks bean really was.

My first few attempts at pulling shots with it failed gloriously. It was really blonde and thin, and coming out way to fast. After about 10 minutes and a couple degree heat change (up to 204.5) it was looking as good as I was going to get it without drastic changes. It actually doesn’t look that bad when you are pulling it, but it really is thin and rather uncharismatic when it comes down to it.

I was pulling the shots pretty short (just over an ounce to an ounce and a half) and there was actually a surprising amount of crema in the shot glasses.

2oz to the top.

To be fair, I didn’t want to let anyone try the espresso until it at least had some decent color or aroma. After a short bit of decent improvements, I plateaued and decided it was time. The espresso was light honey in color, and I actually managed to get a bit of flecking, but you had to look close. (Like, lean in an inch-away-from-your-computer-screen close.)

Flecking! (well...sort of)

The taste, despite the color, was not that of honey. At first contact with your taste buds it is rather inoffensive, but then all of a sudden a tar like after taste hits you and stays, lingering in the back of your throat like a shot of Buckleys. Fair enough, no surprise here. Let’s see what happens when we add some milk to it in a sweet black cup.

Voila! I dare you to tell me you don’t want to at least take a sip of that. Now, don’t get me wrong, it didn’t rock my world, but it wasn’t that bad. Almost drinkable, to say the least. Almost anyway. It was still exponentially better than the straight up espresso though.

No serious surprises here, and you can’t blame them. It would be near impossible to roast the mass amount of beans a company like Starbucks would require and keep the quality at the same time.

All excuses aside though, in the end it doesn’t really matter, the beans just aren’t good enough.

Oh and by the way, we only ended up using 2lbs, so anyone who wants the last pound is welcome to grab it for their own testing. You have until September 27th of 2008, so timing shouldn’t be an issue.

Besides the instant slam of 4 maks and 4 espressos, you could just check our blog. Some of our more hardcore fans may have noticed a little something extra special the last few days at chd and that is the “last seen drinking at” widget on the right. This is a cool little feature us clean hot dryers have popped in for sheer novelty. Here’s how it works:

This panel gets automagically updated on the fly, via a single text message. When a cleanhotdryer walks into a cafe, they send a special message to a top secret twitter account containing keywords about the place they’re at. Our little script picks up this text message, recognizes the location, displays a photo and address from that specific store, and appends a comment about our experience below. Yea, we’re a little tech savvy here.

We’ve got about 20 locations in our database with accompanying images and addresses. So if we’ve been to your place, now you’ll know

First Stop: Bump ‘n Grind

A very chill café with a great atmosphere; the meet between vegan sandal-and-socks guy and “Che Guevara” t-shirt guy; also, the only café I know of with a DJ and a turntable. Very polite barista that had some serious portafilter acrobatics going on. My drinks of choice were, of course, a single-shot macchiato and a single-shot espresso, both of which were served with a dainty almond biscuit. First, the espresso, which was much hotter than I’ve ever tried, consisted of a very distinct earthy aroma, but was difficult to enjoy due to its heat. Second was the macchiato—a ristretto shot—which had a much smaller proportion of milk than, say, a Crema macchiato or a JJ Bean macchiato. Nevertheless, both were far too hot to really enjoy, but the quality of the shots was well done otherwise.

Bump'N'Grind

Two pages down and three paragraphs later…

Second Stop: Continental

I am going to immediately by-pass any thoughts on atmosphere, partly because there was nothing distinctive, and partly because I want to get to the important stuff: they had the most amazing espresso I’ve ever tried. The barista recognized a fellow short-drinker, cracked his knuckles, rolled up his sleeves, and proceeded to perfecting a truly beautiful piece of aqueous art: the super-ristretto espresso. The first sip yielded an elegant swirl of sugary espresso with a slight hint of cinammon, which gave way to a smooth and vivid finish. To make a perfect ending even better, he served me a ristretto macchiato, also with a rich creamy milk sitting on the layered espresso which grew darker as the drink progressed. A truly fantastic pair of drinks which rendered me astounded by my overtaken senses.

Continental

Thirty minutes, two iPhone conversations, and zero pages later…

Third Stop: Prado

A very trendy café with plenty of natural light and space; I was quite overtaken be the atmosphere, but in a good way. The building must have been quite old as the doors shook a little when I opened them, but that’s why I seemed to really like it—a place that hasn’t yet been torn down for the next 48-storey “elegant trendy spacious” living facility. But the coffee won’t be arriving at the top of my list, though the espresso was surprisingly decent (one word: swift, and that’s only a good thing if you don’t know what that is). The shot was rich and smooth throughout; even had a favourable sweet after-taste. The barista must have been convinced—three words in—that either I was on speed or I had a severe speech impediment. The sixth espresso shorty was beginning to kick in and had a drastic effect on me; even my smooth and witty conversation sounded like an excited foreigner trying to collect his $5 winnings from Scratch ‘n Win.

Prado

Three pages (read and repeated 134 times), one bag of fresh tortellini, and twenty-seven minutes later…

Fourth Stop: JJ Bean

A short skid later brought me to the doors of my old favourite: JJ Bean. Having never visited this location on Commercial Drive, I was, nonetheless, expecting a top-notch macchiato. Needless to say, I was not disappointed. The barista in the control room served up a silky smooth macchiato sided elegantly with my favourite bubbly, Antipodes (despite being placed 3rd in a blind test, by yours truly). Despite having the best macchiato of the day, I was beginning to feel what was the start of a very long 7-espresso-shot recovery. Proud of the day’s accomplishments, I strolled out and found my way back to the train which would end my long detour.

JJ Commercial

The End of the Line

A truly magnificent expedition finalized as I stepped onto the train, to continue my monotonous commute into the tall city, fresh from a sunset after a heavy rain. A little detour that day left me with two favourites: the forget-me-not espresso à la Continental and the old time champion macchiato of JJ Bean. A refreshingly well spent Monday afternoon that I hope to repeat with other adventures in the near future: here’s to Mondays!

Note: Nick is a computer programmer, who has grown completely obsessed with espresso and everything in between, regularly downing 2 or 3 doubles before school. As he is not a barista nor in any way directly associated with any café, his opinions are non-biased and full of honesty and flecking crema.

Yes.

The last few days I have been on a mission, and it wasn’t to find the best espresso. I already know where to find that. I wanted to find the cafe that has the best water to cleanse my palate from the ounce or 2 of crema filled goodness. At first I did what any barista would think to do - a coffee crawl. And crawl we did. I grabbed a fistful of quarters for parking, threw all my radiohead CD’s into the car, and picked up 3 of my closest allies/fellow cleanhotdryers. We left from Crema in West Van and made our way out over the great 3 lane bridge we call the Lion’s Gate over to the following (in order): Cito, JJ Yaletown, Wicked Cafe, The Elysian Room, and 49th Parallel. We had espresso, water, and good times at all of them. Then it happened. I ran into an unexpected problem. Almost all the waters (with the exception of one - though I won’t name names. Yet.) held their own , on their own - but it was hard to distinguish a true difference between them without having the others there to compare with one another, and by the time we arrived at the next cafe the taste obviously no longer still lingered.

Solution?

I set up an old fashioned cupping. Only it was for water. And it was blind. And it was awesome. My guess is that this is the first of its kind (leave a comment if you know otherwise). And so it was, the first Cafe Water Cupping. The only rule to qualify was that each contestant had to be water of the “sparkling” nature. Still water is great with espresso, but any cafe with a glass and a tap can get you the same Vancouver water. (That being said, there are some places that even manage to mess that up. ie: Plastic Cups, To-Go Cups, Jars, No Ice, etc.)

Bottoms Up.

I’ve only ever seen 4 different brands of water available for purchase in Vancouver’s cafes, so I went out and bought each one of them. What followed next was a royal rumble that would leave no man standing, and only one bottle.

The Prize? Indisputable reign and bragging rights over all other non-superior waters.

The cost of losing? Their lives. (all losing bottles will be smashed in a safe, yet very aggressive manner.)

The Contestants:

i) San Pellegrino

The Red Star

Bottled in: Lombardy, Italy.

Who Uses It? JJ Bean, Crema, Cito, 49th Parallel, Starbucks, and almost every other cafe in the city.

www.sanpellegrino.com

Notes: San Pellegrino is probably the best known sparkling water and is definitely the easiest to find. Almost every cafe uses it, and it comes in a convenient 250ml bottle or a much larger 750ml which is perfect for sharing. Look for that dark green bottle with the red star, representing Italy proudly in the cafe cooler. Apparently it has been around for 600 years. You may also hear it be referred to as, “San Pell” by hipsters.

ii) antipodes

King of the Sparkle

Bottled In: New Zealand

Who Uses It? Crema, JJ Yaletown and Commercial Dr. (As far as I know, these are the only 3 cafes that sell it. Again, leave a comment if I am mistaken. In addition, Crema and JJ Bean have antipodes AND San Pellegrino.)

www.antipodes.co.nz

Notes: It’s easy to spot antipodes, thanks to it’s medicinal-like bottle packaging. It is easily the most attractive and is the hardest sparkling water to both find, and pronounce (An-TIH-Po-Dess, not Auntie Podes). Like all good things, it’s rareness is what makes it oh-so-good. Oh, that, and the fact that it was rated “best sparkling water in the world” in 2006. Add a freshly squeezed lemon wedge to give it that extra kick. antipodes has a motto printed on all of their bottles: “Drink Chilled. Drink Often. Live Well.” Nice.

iii) Perrier

Filet Mignon Baby

Bottled In: France

www.perrier.com

Who Uses It? The Elysian Room.

Notes: Perrier is pretty well known, and definitely a crowd favorite. The bottle is a green similar to that of it’s arch nemesis, San Pellegrino, but has a convex and busty shape that fits into your palm nicely, as if saying, “hold me.” Because of it’s French origins, it is often referred to by many (and by “many” I mean just me) as the “Filet Mignon” of water. I also believe that it is the dark horse in this cupping and any ranking lower than 2nd would be a great disappointment.

iv) Monte Forte

Sparkling Frizzante. Right.

Bottled In: Italy

Who Uses It? Wicked Cafe, Artigiano.

www.monteforte.it

Notes: You know the song that goes, “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I’ll go eat worms…”? I’m pretty sure it’s about Monte Forte. The only thing that ranks lower than the taste of Monte Forte is the branding and their website. Look back up at the picture and answer this question: Does a plain white label with a bad blue font curving everywhich way really say, “sparkling water” (or anything good, for that matter) to you? Not to mention I don’t know what that thing is on top of the “M”. My prediction is it comes last, and rightfully so. I have nothing else to say about it.

The Rules:

After an extremely short notice event was made on facebook, 4 of my friends ended up coming down to Crema to join in the fun, where the following rules were agreed upon:

- The test is fully blind.
- Water is to be served at cafe cooler temperature, without ice.
- You must sip the water, then your coffee, then the same water again once more.
-Due to an excessive amount of inconsistency problems that would arise using shots of espresso to compare the water with, (not to mention the dangerous levels of espresso that would need to be consumed) the french press is used for comparison. (Dark Guatemala was the bean of choice tonight)
- Rank the waters in order from best to worst.

The Battlefield

The Cupping:
The cupping was, to put it simply, awsome. We listened to The Mix Up by the Beastie Boys. (click that to listen, it will load in a different window, free and fast). That cd fit so well that I think they made it while cupping water themselves.

When we finally sat down and started tasting the waters it was actually pretty tough. They all tasted very different from one another, but all of the sudden it was hard to say which one actually tasted better than another. Philosophical questions raced throughout my mind - “What even makes a good tasting sparkling water?”, and “Could time travel ever truly exist?” were two of the many.

After some serious conversing and back-and-forth tasting, we all wrote down what our favorites were. The results? Shocking.

The Results:

Winner's Podium

I know. I can’t believe it either. San Pellegrino won (3 1st place votes, and a 2nd place) with Monte Forte coming 2nd. The worst part? I somehow picked Monte Forte as my number 1. While I can’t deny what I put, I’m blaming it on “lost-in-the-moment” syndrome. I still think it’s horrible. Perrier and Antipodes tied for 3rd, or last place, depending on if you’re a half full or half empty kinda person. This is more or less the exact opposite of what I predicted. I still stand by my favorites though. San Pellegrino’s experience came through when it mattered most. Talk about clutch performance.

As promised, all the losers were sentenced to immediate death by smashing.

Death By Smashing

Author’s Note: Sparkling water goes great with espresso for a few reasons. One, it clears your mouth/palate so that you can taste and distinguish every detail about the espresso you are about to consume. It helps clear it up nicely for after, as well. If you are having a drink that takes a few more sips, like a macchiatto or a traditional cappuccino, it is great to have a splash in between sipping your drink, for one to re-cleanse your palate for the next sip, and also to provide a nice contrast in taste. If you do it correctly, it’s as if you are having the first sip throughout the whole thing. It doesn’t hurt that it helps keep you hydrated too. As antipodes says, “Drink Chilled. Drink Often. Live Well.”